Title - A Reward
Yes, you read it right. The blog title is
"Title - A Reward".
I am writing this blog, on request of a very good
friend.
Recently, my daughter Akshara earned
titles/labels of "Active and Responsible Student". The moment she came
back home, she excitedly asked me what the titles meant. I explained the
meaning and she was thrilled to get a title from her KG Teacher. She hugged me
with joy.
At that moment, I realized how important these titles
are, in shaping our life. It also reminded me of my childhood experience, a
lesson of a lifetime.
In a child's psychology, TITLE plays an important
role. When children are given a 'Positive
title' it inspires them to work on their skills and potentials and create
their destiny. Their world consists of parents, guardians, teachers and friends.
All these people are like their mirror, in which they see themselves. They are
confident about understanding themselves and to take on the mystery of
tomorrow. But a "negative title" works the other
way.
I too have earned many good and bad titles. Some
of these titles were not meant to be consciously said/ given by anyone. But, there's
one incident, I particularly remember, because it played a very significant role
in my life. It is through that one experience I realize how I can help myself
to be a better parent for my child.
I was just seven years old, and was very playful
and active. At that time, I had no sibling. As both of my parents were working,
after school, I went to a crèche'. I don't remember why, I did not like crèche'
much, so the school was like my second home. I was good at curriculum, and I
generally scored between 70% and 80% in terminal tests and exams.
One day during second grade, I was busy talking
to a fellow bencher. The teacher, who also happens to be my favorite teacher,
came to my bench and in a very casual and jovial way told me that ‘I was very
talkative’. I looked up and saw my teacher smiling at me. I was thrilled to
hear this because I thought she was praising me!
So after final exams, we had two months holidays
before the new curriculum began. During that time, I casually asked my mom,
what "talkative" means. And her answer shocked me. She told me, that children
who talk a lot, and don't pay attention in the class are called
"Talkative"!
Those words penetrated deep into my spirit in a hurtful and crushing kind of way. I felt embarrassed to be told this in front of everyone. I realized how inattentive
I must have been, and instantaneously, the child in me took a decision "to
earn the quietest title" from the next curriculum. I reminded myself again
and again, that instead of talking and making friends, I should keep quiet and
pay attention to what was taught in class.
As suppression grew stronger, I lost my
distinction status. I lost interest in studies, still embarrassed on the titles
I achieved from former teachers. And slowly, my creativity was censored. Comparing
myself with my peers, I lost the confidence to showcase my abilities. I limited
myself to a maximum of one or two friends in class. I also stopped
participating in group activities.
I did not realize why, after all the skills and
abilities, I was still an average in academics and socially. I had probably
forgotten how it all started. It was only in my teens, while attending a
spiritual course, the Divine made me remember this particular incident. I
realized how a "childhood decision" I took then, had such an impact
on me. With Divine Grace, and intense prayers and experience, I got a second
chance to come out of my old unwanted decisions and I re-titled as a good and
happy person. And the decision started clearing out from my system.
Today I am proud of the titles my daughter has
earned and from my past experience, I realize and am able to motivate her in
the right direction. After all, “Life is all about Learning, Unlearning and Re-
Learning.”
