I am these days busy attending my 2 and half months old daughter Akshara, who needs a feed every 2 - 3 hours in a day and also frequently passes urine in the nights, so I keep changing her nappies. She occassionally frets or cries, remains calm, quiet and playful through most of the midnights. Yes, what I mean is, she enjoys sleeping in the day time, and wakes up bright in the midnight, and looks at the night lamps, colourful curtains, lizards on the ceiling and if I am interesting enough when compared to them, then she looks for me and wants to know what I am doing; awake or asleep.
I usually stay awake in the nights but yesterday night I was tired, as I was awoke past three nights and days. Fortunately she slept till 4am. On her demanding I fed her; thought she may sleep again and I too can have my nap. But she did not seem to be in mood, so she lay awoke, she viewed with attention at the night lamp above the bed, and started talking with it. I lay on my back and watched her playing by herself and began to sunk into my thoughts.
I was questioning myself that why don't we as adults enjoy the "Present" of our life? Whole of our day, minute, second, passe on either thinking of our past or planning for the future. The whole day goes on in questioning, analzying, reasoning, understanding, about everything we are linked to. Whenever we look at those dark blue sky, the stars, the moon, the tall buildings around, the lush green garden behind our appartments, the cars parked in a row and the dim light of the temple from the distant; do we ever stop our thoughts in amusement? do we ever express our excitement or happiness in just watching it and nothing about anything else? Whenever we look at these things, there is always an interpretation of those materials in our mind. I mean - when we look at the stars- we immediately conclude within 'Yeah, stars always shine, they are meant to shine.'; when we see the cars parked in a row - we reason it 'which is the best one, start calculating the cost of it, analyze its design and technology and finally start dreaming of buying one.' When these interpretations happens; we tend lose the Present. We either start bringing our past or start day dreaming about our future; but we never enjoy the Present.
That is where we differ from little Akshara. She has no mind that interprets and says 'hey you are looking at that lamp for the 100th time! That you are foolish because you are talking to a non-living object! Fortunately her brain has not developed to understand the difference between the living and the non-living objects. I personally feel, that it is the most spiritual and intense moment of our life, when we are enjoying our Present. For her, everything is new, amazing and perfect. She lives in NOW and consumes the Present to the fullest!
I brought back my thoughts again, and I found Akshara watching me. Her expression was of an astonishment probably she figured out what I was thinking, she smiled mischievously and looked away to the night lamp and started talking with it again!
