Learning by Observing

Some thoughts :

One day I wake up, and I open the newspaper, I read a column where it says, that together we ditch the fuel pumped vehicles (maybe to avoid pollution) and then that day every citizen takes out their own bicycle for commuting to their respective schools/colleges/Institutes/work place and few who go very far away, hire/drive ecological friendly solar charged electric vehicles. So on the way to commute, we see together a clean environment, pollution and dust free roads, few old trees still hanging out alive (somehow) and couple of places we see are dry barren lands and can be utilized for planting more saplings. I am pretty sure that day, we would have learnt our own personal experience and lesson about The Love for Environment!!!

All the famous and very successful people believe that, we humans can learn a lot, just by practicing the art of  Observation! So here it is, from tomorrow instead of putting on your headphones while on your morning walk or scroll lamely thru your mobile for more news, information, article, while commuting to your respective places, lets keep everything aside and observe around  whatever your moment is offering you. Everything will not be meaningful. But slowly because of this newly released habit of observing, you might be able to learn something new. That observation, that lesson, can actually be a moment that can change your life.

A reminder to laugh 😁

If anything that Akshara demands from me these days is, I keep smiling and laugh a lot.

Gentle Reminder!

#cutenessloaded

Title - A Reward

Title - A Reward

Yes, you read it right. The blog title is "Title - A Reward".

I am writing this blog, on request of a very good friend. 

Recently, my daughter Akshara earned titles/labels of "Active and Responsible Student". The moment she came back home, she excitedly asked me what the titles meant. I explained the meaning and she was thrilled to get a title from her KG Teacher. She hugged me with joy.

At that moment, I realized how important these titles are, in shaping our life. It also reminded me of my childhood experience, a lesson of a lifetime.

In a child's psychology, TITLE plays an important role. When children are given a 'Positive title' it inspires them to work on their skills and potentials and create their destiny. Their world consists of parents, guardians, teachers and friends. All these people are like their mirror, in which they see themselves. They are confident about understanding themselves and to take on the mystery of tomorrow.  But a "negative title" works the other way.

I too have earned many good and bad titles. Some of these titles were not meant to be consciously said/ given by anyone. But, there's one incident, I particularly remember, because it played a very significant role in my life. It is through that one experience I realize how I can help myself to be a better parent for my child.

I was just seven years old, and was very playful and active. At that time, I had no sibling. As both of my parents were working, after school, I went to a crèche'. I don't remember why, I did not like crèche' much, so the school was like my second home. I was good at curriculum, and I generally scored between 70% and 80% in terminal tests and exams. 

One day during second grade, I was busy talking to a fellow bencher. The teacher, who also happens to be my favorite teacher, came to my bench and in a very casual and jovial way told me that ‘I was very talkative’. I looked up and saw my teacher smiling at me. I was thrilled to hear this because I thought she was praising me!

So after final exams, we had two months holidays before the new curriculum began. During that time, I casually asked my mom, what "talkative" means. And her answer shocked me. She told me, that children who talk a lot, and don't pay attention in the class are called "Talkative"!

Those words penetrated deep into my spirit in a hurtful and crushing kind of way. I felt embarrassed to be told this in front of everyone. I realized how inattentive I must have been, and instantaneously, the child in me took a decision "to earn the quietest title" from the next curriculum. I reminded myself again and again, that instead of talking and making friends, I should keep quiet and pay attention to what was taught in class.

As suppression grew stronger, I lost my distinction status. I lost interest in studies, still embarrassed on the titles I achieved from former teachers. And slowly, my creativity was censored. Comparing myself with my peers, I lost the confidence to showcase my abilities. I limited myself to a maximum of one or two friends in class. I also stopped participating in group activities.

I did not realize why, after all the skills and abilities, I was still an average in academics and socially. I had probably forgotten how it all started. It was only in my teens, while attending a spiritual course, the Divine made me remember this particular incident. I realized how a "childhood decision" I took then, had such an impact on me. With Divine Grace, and intense prayers and experience, I got a second chance to come out of my old unwanted decisions and I re-titled as a good and happy person. And the decision started clearing out from my system.

Today I am proud of the titles my daughter has earned and from my past experience, I realize and am able to motivate her in the right direction. After all, “Life is all about Learning, Unlearning and Re- Learning.”

The lesson I learned of Love

I dedicate this article to my parents, who have been the greatest support and my backbone till day.

The lesson I learned of Love

Even in the 21st Century the word love is always a point of discussion or argument, whether and what it is, that is love and what is is, that is not love! When I Google the word 'Love', I come across so many good articles, nicely written by psychologists, relationship advisers, life coaches, spiritual gurus and many. Yet, according to me reading and acquiring knowledge, doesn't help much. Initially, you get a feeling, yes, this is exactly I am going through and what I needed to know about my life, but that piece of article or words heard, does not stay with you for more than few hours. Like many other ideas, knowledge, this too, gets filtered out and you reach the same stage, from where you started! All this is because, you have no first hand experience about LOVE. Because the truth is, Love is that what you have experienced and discovered on your own.

Today noon, during a discussion with my husband, I happened to remember few events from the past; the moments, where I actually discovered love in the most natural circumstances. My parents, especially my mother has been an active participant, as well a witness of the events and a wonderful mentor to help. She showed me the way, but allowed, me to walk by and discover it on my own.

I was eight years old, when my little sister arrived into our family. I felt warm and good to have a company at home, with whom I can have my secret fun, role play games, sing to, dance along, bike around, even walk to the nearest store and sometimes, I had the privilege to set norms and rules in our friendship wherein she does not enter into my personal premises. But then as all siblings grow, we too grew up, and we begin to have more fights. The reasons to have fights were silly, but the words that were blurted out to each other were not pleasing to ears. My mom, if and when overheard such arguments, tried to be a referee, and helped us to calm down. She would ask us to hit into different rooms. Yet, the fights did not ended. Years passed by, though Shruthi (my sister)  and I tried to avoid unhealthy arguments, yet like we had no choice, we kept fighting. But then when my mother kept her foot down and stopped being a referee, we were left with little or no choice to settle the matters between each other. My mother would not intervene, unless we needed some timely advises. Initially, we both did not know how to calm down ourselves and stop the rage/anger that aroused under such a challenging environment. But then, after each fight, we had occurrences, where we would listen to each other. All it was needed is to let go the EGO or the righteousness. It did not matter who was right, and how much was it right, but it was important, to understand the other person's point of view. We slowly developed to listen (not hearing, but true listening) with empathy.  It was beautiful, the experience was new, and the best part was it was each time new! We slowly learnt more and more about each other, when we were listening. We both began to discover something new about each, in each other. And we began to initiate more and more activities that we both would like to do together, that will keep us more closer and tighter. We realized, that masking or hiding behind the truth led to nowhere. It was simple to be an open chapter, ready to read through each other. Our fights reduced and stopped. There is no record of date when it happened, because it became clear that the fights are never going to stay in our memory.

I and my sister discovered love about each other, in each other and for each other. It was not taught to us by our parents or even friends. It was not cultivated by the society, or by ideas that "sisters are supposed to love each other, under any or all circumstances". I call these ideals as cultivated virtues, and these cultivated virtues really does not help in bonding. A society cannot grow, because of these ideals. A society will grow only in complete freedom. This is not the external freedom, but the internal one. Love can only be discovered by allowing oneself and the other to be just normal. Thus, Love is Personal.

Here, I would also like to add another point, it is the environment that was created and set for us to learn this lesson. It was only there, because of our parents trust on us. They showed trust on us, and allowed me and my sister to learn our lessons. They, like God, just watched from above, blessed us, fully conscious, fully in trust, that we shall never say or do anything that is Not Love!

This is the biggest gift my parents have given me, my sister and I pray that each one in this world, in coming days discover what LOVE IS!

Each Day is a New Day for me

Early morning, she wakes up, and then I rush her to school. So I assume here,  that each day she wonders how to cope up with going to the same school, with the same uniform, in the same van, with the same friends and meeting the same teachers; feels monotonous over time. And so to bring an interest or a zing into this activity, she motivates herself by following activities - 

• New tiffin box/water bottle
• New type of hair style
• New hair bands n hair clips
• Some new colourful bangles or earrings
• Mummy cooking new tiffin
• Four or Five variety of nuts into the box as surprise element
• Juice in a bottle
• And everyday, colourful designer bindi
• Nailpolishes
• Garland over the braids n some flowers for her school Acharya

And the list goes endless....Each day something new is awaiting for her, and her senses enjoy the Bright New Day

Mummy, Kya Bhoot hote hai (Do Ghost really exists)?

Hehehe, I know reading this post title, many of you will laugh, including me! :-D ;-)

So yesterday night, on bed, minutes before she sleeps, my 6 years old Akshara, asked me, Mummy, Kya Bhoot (Ghost) hote hai? So like every good mother, who never scares little children, I answered "NO". Then she asked me another question, which I cannot even imagine it myself. "Then, Mummy tell me Why did God created this term "Bhoot"? Did God created it or people did? How did we get this idea of Bhoot? I realized, that it was not easy to escape this time. So for few seconds,I became quiet and immersed in my thinking on how best to tell her. I think it was a too long pause! As though she understood my conflict, she probed me again....with an additional (motivating) line, "Mom, you know everything, I know." So when any mother comes under the influence of such cheesy words, suddenly her brain acts at very quick speed. Something similar happened to me.

After some 20 minutes of discussion, she was assured that nothing bad is going to happen to her or anyone she loves. And this will remain truth for her till few more years. But as she grows up, the world around her, will place doubt, make her probe, question many such myths, stories, fables, and she will turn herself into a small time researcher and arrive into conclusions which will be proportionate to her nature of experience.

But tonight, its all about her Good Night Sleep!

Just like her, I am also remembering one of my myth, learnt it first from my mother and that which has kept me safe till today is "Nothing bad can happen to good people."

So with this, I am signing off!

Happy Wedding Anniversary and my best gift

Happy Anniversary Hubby!

I know you will agree to this, when I say this is our Best Anniversary Greeting Card ever presented. 

I am truly amazed with her creative thoughts and imaginative skills in this handmade card.

No words to really express how happy and proud I am today. Keep Going girl! Much Much Love to you my Akshara.

Greeting Cards by the little hands

It doesn't matter what occasion it is for you, a greeting card from your child is just on the way! 😆

So it's a day before my 7th Wedding 💒 Anniversary, and my daughter woke up, took her pack of sketch pens, pencil, eraser, some chart paper📄 sheets, stickers, to the other room with a warning ⚠ that no one is supposed to enter and watch our Surprise Greeting Card in preparation.

It got over in an hour, and she was hugging the card to her chest, and walking about the whole house, not ready to show it to anyone. She told me not to see, then she looked at daddy and told him too, not to ask and probe on the secret matter.

After few minutes, restlessly, she came and sat beside me, looked at me worriedly though silent. At that moment, her eyes spoke more than words. So I asked her, what's the matter about? She looked at her father, and then again turned to me "Mom, I want to show you, but Pappa will also want to know now and my surprise for tomorrow will get spoiled.“ I couldn't help but smile ☺, so I made her task simpler i.e. Let Pappa alone be surprised on the wedding date! She got thrilled, and snapped back at her father, "Pappa, I will show it to you tomorrow. Mom is like my Drawing Teacher, so I can show it to her." 😀😀😀😀😀:-D.

My amusement knew no bounds and Lo, what I saw was the bestest of the Greeting Card I can ever receive in my lifetime.

You think, I will post the pic of the Greeting Card so quickly here. No, it is on hold until 22nd February morning.

Curious Years

These are her creative years, a moment where she is growing up to understand people and things around her, to discovering her own capabilities.

Last year, she was fast on drawing, coloring, music, dancing and living in the moment. But before the end of her third year, I could see, that her reasoning skills have also developed. She questions, reasons every situations that's happening around her. She wants to know why do people feel happy when they are, and why do they go sad and angry? Like all elders, she is trying to change/take control over these situations, experiences and emotions....

So as a parent, i see, a tremendous amount of growth in her, at the same time I realize the responsibility in me, that I as her parent, should help her discover love in God, People and Nature.

Now it is time, to reinforce her faith in me, her father and God who is our true friend. Hope I help her through this journey.

Thank you my divine for all your signs and ways.

Oil free pillow....

Sharing and even treasuring the moments of Akshara, my daughter. Today she is 3 years and 5 months old. No words to express how happy she makes me feel when she is around.

This happened yesterday. My maid was oiling my hair,when akshara insisted that she too wants. So after our turns were over, I just casually  passed a sentence that 'Today whenever we lie on bed, we shall drape towel on our pillows to avoid stain'. I said and I forgot about it. After 5 minutes, Akshara requested me for a hand towel. I asked why does she want it. She replied 'mummy you only said na to put towel on the pillow, I want to lie down here, so it will become dirty.

I was stunned with the her maturity. With so much ease and innocence she expressed her love for me; acceptance for my words. Each time I counter her, she becomes a mirror to me. She tells me that I have only grown old by age and not by heart, for I can't hold so much love that she showers on me.