The lesson I learned of Love

I dedicate this article to my parents, who have been the greatest support and my backbone till day.

The lesson I learned of Love

Even in the 21st Century the word love is always a point of discussion or argument, whether and what it is, that is love and what is is, that is not love! When I Google the word 'Love', I come across so many good articles, nicely written by psychologists, relationship advisers, life coaches, spiritual gurus and many. Yet, according to me reading and acquiring knowledge, doesn't help much. Initially, you get a feeling, yes, this is exactly I am going through and what I needed to know about my life, but that piece of article or words heard, does not stay with you for more than few hours. Like many other ideas, knowledge, this too, gets filtered out and you reach the same stage, from where you started! All this is because, you have no first hand experience about LOVE. Because the truth is, Love is that what you have experienced and discovered on your own.

Today noon, during a discussion with my husband, I happened to remember few events from the past; the moments, where I actually discovered love in the most natural circumstances. My parents, especially my mother has been an active participant, as well a witness of the events and a wonderful mentor to help. She showed me the way, but allowed, me to walk by and discover it on my own.

I was eight years old, when my little sister arrived into our family. I felt warm and good to have a company at home, with whom I can have my secret fun, role play games, sing to, dance along, bike around, even walk to the nearest store and sometimes, I had the privilege to set norms and rules in our friendship wherein she does not enter into my personal premises. But then as all siblings grow, we too grew up, and we begin to have more fights. The reasons to have fights were silly, but the words that were blurted out to each other were not pleasing to ears. My mom, if and when overheard such arguments, tried to be a referee, and helped us to calm down. She would ask us to hit into different rooms. Yet, the fights did not ended. Years passed by, though Shruthi (my sister)  and I tried to avoid unhealthy arguments, yet like we had no choice, we kept fighting. But then when my mother kept her foot down and stopped being a referee, we were left with little or no choice to settle the matters between each other. My mother would not intervene, unless we needed some timely advises. Initially, we both did not know how to calm down ourselves and stop the rage/anger that aroused under such a challenging environment. But then, after each fight, we had occurrences, where we would listen to each other. All it was needed is to let go the EGO or the righteousness. It did not matter who was right, and how much was it right, but it was important, to understand the other person's point of view. We slowly developed to listen (not hearing, but true listening) with empathy.  It was beautiful, the experience was new, and the best part was it was each time new! We slowly learnt more and more about each other, when we were listening. We both began to discover something new about each, in each other. And we began to initiate more and more activities that we both would like to do together, that will keep us more closer and tighter. We realized, that masking or hiding behind the truth led to nowhere. It was simple to be an open chapter, ready to read through each other. Our fights reduced and stopped. There is no record of date when it happened, because it became clear that the fights are never going to stay in our memory.

I and my sister discovered love about each other, in each other and for each other. It was not taught to us by our parents or even friends. It was not cultivated by the society, or by ideas that "sisters are supposed to love each other, under any or all circumstances". I call these ideals as cultivated virtues, and these cultivated virtues really does not help in bonding. A society cannot grow, because of these ideals. A society will grow only in complete freedom. This is not the external freedom, but the internal one. Love can only be discovered by allowing oneself and the other to be just normal. Thus, Love is Personal.

Here, I would also like to add another point, it is the environment that was created and set for us to learn this lesson. It was only there, because of our parents trust on us. They showed trust on us, and allowed me and my sister to learn our lessons. They, like God, just watched from above, blessed us, fully conscious, fully in trust, that we shall never say or do anything that is Not Love!

This is the biggest gift my parents have given me, my sister and I pray that each one in this world, in coming days discover what LOVE IS!